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George Bernard Shaw once said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Picture this: someone is speaking to you, expressing their thoughts carefully for you to understand. You wait for the breaks in the conversation when you think they’ve finished talking, and then you interrupt with your own piece of information or repeat what was just said. “Oh, I know just how you feel,” you say, or “I had the same thing happen to me. Let me tell you about it!” You fail to listen. You create your own ideas. You miss the message and the opportunity to understand. It’s about your agenda, not theirs. Have you ever experienced this? Often, you think you’ve understood what was said, but the reality is that you spent the whole time formulating a reply and forgot to actually listen. Arguably, listening is the most difficult skill in communication, and we’re getting worse at it. What We Listen Vs. What We Understand There is a lag time between listening ...
He’s like my best friend.” “She’s the best friend in my life.” He’s like my best friend.” “She’s the best friend in my life.” These are common statements and beliefs about a relationship with our spouse.That they must be our friend, no, best friend — as well as all the other roles a spouse plays in marriage.While I don’t discount that there should be friendship between husband and wife, having him or her as your best friend will be the death-nail to the marriage. To clarify, I’m referring to best friend here as a primary and/or sole outlet of your relational needs. When you first met your spouse, ideally you were both living lives that were fulfilling and interesting (note the emphasis on “ideally”— if you and/or your spouse didn't have a lot going on when you first met, the relationship was already in really big trouble). One reason your spouse was attractive was the life they were living apart from you. The lives you were living before you met we...
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